I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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