Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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