Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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