I hate your face
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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