I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
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And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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