Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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