is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize