Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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