Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize