I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize