Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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