What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize