come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize