you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize