There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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