i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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