Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize