I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize