I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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