Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
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