Where did you get a picture of my penis
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Still dying that you shit outside
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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