dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize