Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
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He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
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I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I came so hard my ears popped.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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