Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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