PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
