Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
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I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
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The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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