God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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