That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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