Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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