The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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