You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
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He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
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Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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