Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
MIDGETS
????
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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