he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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