Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
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we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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