I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
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