Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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