I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Your penis caused this!
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