you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize