Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
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the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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