i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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