i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well I just put wine in my tea
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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