I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize