I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize