I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize