new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I need a beard to bite.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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