Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
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