dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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