Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
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Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
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Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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