Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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