doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
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I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
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My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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