I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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