I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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