also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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